The below is an off-site archive of all tweets posted by @lopp ever

June 2009

hope you have a great canada day tomorrow, @justinjas - maybe we’ll get a tweet out of you?

via twitux

“Hey man, you’ve got a boner!”
“That’s a perfectly normal reaction to the adrenaline of combat!”
“NO, I dont wanna fight no more with you!”

via twitux

i have 3 TB worth of drives sitting on my couch but i’m afraid to plug them in due to the potential for irrevocable data loss… FML

via twitux

Computer Science for life, and that’s my direction. Instead of b-balls, my homies throw exceptions…

via twitux

don’t know who to blame (ubuntu?): why when I copy something from firefox to the clipboard, if I close FF it clears the clipboard contents?

via twitux

good to know, @أمير

via web

Four Loko keeps pushing the envelope - now 12% alcohol by volume - leaving Joose in the dust

via twitux

day-old dunkin donuts coffee or ‘fresh’ freeze dried extract mixed with hot water?

via twitux

so yea, i wondered why there wasn’t a FB chat client and turns out there is a pidgin plugin ( http://idek.net/HIr ) - too bad it seg faults!

via twitux

WTF pidgin? FB FAIL:
facebook: message from 2714431 to 2723419
dns[19378]: Oops, father has gone, wait for me, wait…!
Segmentation fault

via twitux

I wonder if Verizon is going to charge me for the text msg advertisement they sent me about buying a text msg bundle. my gut says yes…

via twitux

I KNOW I’m a million times as humble as thou art. Will you join me in the Amish paradise? http://idek.net/HCN

via twitux

rebootless kernel patching in ubuntu? yes, plz! seems to work on my laptop; want to add to my server if it proves stable http://idek.net/HBO

via twitux

@McGinity: you’re gonna be an awesome dad - keep it real.

via twitux

i love the various depictions of futuristic racquetball found throughout the star trek franchise - http://idek.net/H6g

via twitux

better order your salvia now before it becomes illegal Dec 1 - http://idek.net/H6X

via twitux

world kitchens old fashioned beef jerky: A++ WOULD BUY AGAIN!!

via twitux

$20 to anyone who can mow my back yard and survive. @grillmaestro ? @lucas_weber ?

via twitux

http://twitpic.com/8o5m2 - i haven’t vacuumed around remi’s cage in a few weeks…

via TwitPic

went on a nice ride w/neighbor before the sun really came out: Durham -> Chapel Hill -> Carrboro -> Hillsborough

via twitux

what happens in the holodeck, stays in the holodeck

via twitux

@seanmcnichol: yea my understanding was that it’s illegal to charge different prices for different payment methods. it SHOULD be…

via twitux

virgin making this year’s festival FREE was a dumb idea; just made the scalpers froth at the mouth. tickets gone in 60 sec, now $60 scalped

via twitux

city of durham no longer accepts echecks; only credit cards. why do they charge extra cc process fee for vehicle taxes but not water bills?

via twitux

annnnnnnnd just now the ‘smart’ cat has learned how to open cabinets. random cabinets opening and closing all over the house. <thump><thump>

via twitux

i forsee spammers latching onto twitter. feels like they’re now testing tools to bulk follow people: was just followed by 10 bots in 5 min.

via twitux

RT @rands - The reason nerds are bad at schedules is because once we’ve built it in our minds, we think we’re done.

via web

@haleyjo: i got my hands dirty working my way up to ‘barely pass inspection’ status. reaaaaaaaaaal dirty.

via twitux

bwa ha ha the camaro managed to pass inspection on the first try

via twitux

tired of reading PHP optimization articles suggesting double quoted strings over single quoted. string interpretation is not bottleneck

via twitux

now remember, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas… except herpes; that shit will come back with you

via twitux

remi has good taste - his favorite toy by far is simply the racquetball i gave him as a pup

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just concluded the first official roast in which i’ve ever participated… never heard so many dirty jokes told by guys 2X to 3X my age

via twitux

i called it. freshman yr of high school, i had a bill accepted to NC mock House to req insurance for coastal properties http://idek.net/Ggj

via twitux

somehow, some way, a fly became trapped inside my helmet as i was driving down highway 98. distracting to say the least.

via twitux

@brontomatt - the williamson organic cuke was delicious. i hope to reciprocate with lopp’s steriod enhanced corn

via twitux

@goddamndave: You’re confusing Amish Fever with Reefer Madness. I failed to mention I was bitten by a transient Amishman a few weeks back.

via twitux

about 5 min into the horribly slow muder with the extremely inefficient weapon, i laughed. and again. and again. and again. and again…

via twitux

anybody resized multi-TB partitions on linux? i want to expand my 4.5 TB partition to 7.5 TB but I’m reading bad reports http://idek.net/GaR

via twitux

my latest foray into page load optimizationland: parallelization of static file downloads via distribution across multiple hosts

via twitux

hopping on the FAILwagon: @msofficeus abandons web standards, using Word to render HTML emails in Outlook 2010. http://fixoutlook.org

via twitux

@shannonholato: i’m sure if you change your twitter password, twitterscope will no longer be able to post to your account

via twitux

almost nobody supports the max RFC spec email address length; the avg address length in our database is only 21 chars http://idek.net/GTK

via twitux

@haleyjo: i have an OBDII scanner and can pull the code for you if you like; that’s how i fixed my camaro’s engine light problem

via twitux

i like the concept of this email service almost as much as hugeurl - http://idek.net/GTA

via twitux

it came out of nowhere! http://bit.ly/GLhZJ

via twitux

commander Riker has The Perfect Beard™

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Lakewood YMCA is closing in august for a YEAR of renovations… where the $&%@ am i going to play racquetball?

via twitux

apparently the half bro of eve carson’s murderer is now in jail for two murders himself, and he was jailed for refusing to testify about eve

via twitux

@covati: the only man-made beverages I consume are those with alcohol, coffee, and the occasional sweet tea

via twitux

I have no problem with Jesus / Mohammed / Xenu. Historically speaking, they sound like swell guys. It’s their fan clubs that I don’t like.

via twitux

time management FAIL http://idek.net/GLe - might as well ban spray paint to prevent people from huffing it?

via twitux

just got an email from an EPA employee; apparently they want to buy my excess java moss!

via twitux

quite interested to know how twitux, a nearly featureless twitter client, manages to use 450MB of RAM if I leave it running for a few weeks

via twitux

@michaelbrooks: shit. shit? SHIT!

via twitux

I can tell you why /
People die alone /
I can tell you why /
The shadow on the sun

via twitux

i don’t trust those single nozzle gas pumps. i bet they went for simplicity and thus when i buy premium i get a hose length of regular first

via twitux

i’ve got one for you, @michaelbrooks - would you rather be accosted by muddy paws or urine soaked paws?

via twitux

nota bene: i tweet in order to chronicle my life events and musings, not whoring for attention. negative nancies can GTFO

via twitux

to put things in perspective: i just calculated that my 350Z had 170 horsepower per ton (including rider) but the CBR has 459 HP / Ton

via twitux

alas, it seems the iBrick is no more… i have a hole in my pocket and it could have fallen out anywhere around durham.

via twitux

Yesterday I woke up sucking a lemon

via twitux

@seanmcnichol: planning on getting way over your head in debt, then going on a coked-out rampage before then committing suicide?

via twitux

just added 3 terabytes of storage to The Machine 2.0 for $200 - thanks, Dell!

via twitux

best way for an introverted geek to get dates? buy a motorcycle! http://idek.net/G7Q apparently machine guns are a turn-on as well…

via twitux

i was doing a buck ten on 40 and a trooper pulls out in front of me from an on-ramp… thankfully he was doing 90+ so i didn’t slow much…

via twitux

do not use twitter to join trending topics because you think “trending” == “trendy”. jackasses.

via twitux

has anyone made the comparison of these auto-twitter-follow apps to ‘list selling’ of twitter names? spammer tactics http://idek.net/FwW

via twitux

just sextupled my investment in the corn plot with a bottle of organic insecticidal soap. DIE japanese beetles, DIE!

via twitux

@seanmcnichol: i haven’t gotten it inspected yet, but i have been screwed over by both chevy & ford dealerships so far w/the camaro

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why can i no longer find the NC vehicle inspection checklist? if i don’t know the laws, i don’t know if the station is trying to screw me…

via twitux

and thus comes to a close this somewhat productive clusterfuck of a week

via twitux

getting pissed at ubuntu’s performance on my craptop; major WTF that system monitor task list CPU usage does NOT match the output of ‘top’

via twitux

it’s going to be a nice, quiet day because all the iphone fanboys are standing in line

via twitux

But the gun shoots death, and purifies the earth of the filth of brutals. Go forth and kill!

via twitux

The gun is good. The penis is evil. The penis shoots seeds, and makes new life, and poisons the earth with a plague of men, as once it was.

via twitux

new side mirrors installed on the camaro. 14 upgrades remain - more parts coming in the mail.

via twitux

why no one takes PETA seriously; they send Obama a ‘humane fly catcher’ after he swats a fly, yet they kill thousands of animals per year…

via twitux

annnnd the twitter-facebook sync app is borked. According to their facebook app page, “Something is technically wrong.”

via twitux

this is for you, @knucklesandwich :

poke ‘er face 8===D~ (^o^)

via twitux

have gun & horseless horse, will travel

via twitux

the bad news: unknown animal is nibbling on the outer edges of the corn plot. the good news: ample supply of ladybugs.

via twitux

just got the complete original series of Batman - Adam West FTW

via twitux

Zardoz is trippy… who doesn’t love Sean Connery in a speedo and calf-high boots?

via twitux

I AM A WELL TRAVELED INTERNET EXPLORER. YOUR MIND WOULD SHATTER IF YOU SAW ONE THOUSANDTH OF THE THINGS I HAVE SEEN.

via twitux

I believe this twitter fad is another step toward a collective consciousness - imagine a not-so-distant future with twitter-like telepathy

via twitux

enjoying a nice cup of watered down quick frozen liquid coffee extract, with hazelnut creamer

via twitux

@ameir: sadly, Data’s foray into beardedness only lasted for those two quotes

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@ddahlke: rsync -r ~/Music/ jamesonsmachine:~/Music

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Data: “It is a beard, Geordi. A fine, full, dignified beard. One which commands respect and projects thoughtfulness and dignity.”

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officially the most boring sports commentators of alllllllllllll time: professional bike racing

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facebook msg from joose: “It is almost summer. You know what happens in summer, right? You drink DOUBLE the amount of Joose!” (hilarilame)

via web

@rands how do you feel about the fact that there is a wikipedia entry for rands, but not for michael lopp?

via web in reply to rands

betcha didn’t know that Teri Hatcher played Transporter Chief B. G. Robinson on Star Trek: The Next Generation in 1988

via twitux

things that would make my life easier: catchable PHP warnings, stack traces upon memory exhaustion, full text mysql indexes

via twitux

UPS shipment emails give me a chuckle: “You can track your shipment by visiting <link> on the Internet.”

via twitux

common logical fallacies, OR, why humans make dumb decisions: http://idek.net/FE8

via twitux

perfect re-creation of the half life atmosphere; i hate jerky camera movement though http://babel-research.eu…

via twitux

best training class evar - remi will now actually walk politely on a loose leash

via twitux

remi is becoming quite adept at plucking balls out of midair http://idek.net/F8p

via twitux

Ford service manager asserted that the mechanic would have reported seeing a cut spark plug wire. I guess they employ blind mechanics…

via twitux

converting my downstairs 40 gallon tank to a lake malawi cichlid environment since the cichlid tank upstairs is overpopulated

via twitux

*&#%^&@#$ - Can’t create more than max_prepared_stmt_count statements

via twitux

@goddamndave - i’m surprised you don’t follow @turdferguson (FYI there’s only one ‘s’)

via twitux

@sweetlydrifting: if you’re lucky then it’s just a loose bolt that secures the track to the door; disassembly might prove insightful

via twitux

@seanmcnichol: i have precise specs - my bet is that the pump charges you for gas that is between the nozzle and certain section of the hose

via twitux

readins dont never not done nothing for not NONEBODY! never not no one didnt about no reason not NEVER and BY GOD they never not aint gonna!

via twitux

i understand businesses treating people like idiots but what about us who are not ignorant? BP gas pump just sold 4.2 gal into my 4 gal tank

via twitux

@sweetlydrifting: lost count of how many times i disassembled the door on my 350Z to fix the window. is the problem the motor or the track?

via twitux

camaro is purring like a tiger, and hella fast now that the full power band is available. few dzn upgrades left to attain status of bitchin’

via twitux

thx to the genius who designed the cylinder 6 spark plug wire to be TOUCHING the exhaust manifold, I had to fashion an aluminum heat sleeve

via twitux

never been so greasy in my life, but F U ford & chevy dealerships; I fixed my engine misfire AND discovered you both witheld info from me

via twitux

couldn’t get ‘lopp’ as my FB username due to length, and couldn’t get ‘jameson’ even though it looks like nobody has registered it… whatev

via twitux

Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. Corollary: A sufficiently advanced being is indistinguishable from God

via twitux

corn plot @ 6 wks http://idek.net/EmG - and YES, preston, miracle-gro says ‘for use on vegetables’ so i’m not poisoning myself

via twitux

Google is developing a 4 dimensional database - cue head explosion

via twitux

today is DTV transition day (about $&*@ing time) - I hope to pick up another dozen channels or so if antennaweb is accurate

via twitux

i’m seriously considering applying for the vanity plate SHTNCMRO

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is there such thing as a relational database that scales well past billions of rows per table?

via twitux

thanks for the extra days of PTO @bronto

via twitux

I haven’t received a bday present I actually wanted in years. This year I get to work all day & night for Fall Release. I ask only for JOOSE

via twitux

@seanmcnichol: you work out enough that you qualify for the ‘bicep encircling barb wire’ tattoo

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@seanmcnichol: I dropped $500 to fix the other problems when I bought the bike and didn’t want to shell out $200 more for a new tire O:-)

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wore the tread on my rear cycle tire all the way down to the cords; now it won’t hold air. FML

via twitux

@brandonwilkins: 88% on social media? BS. 22% of US residents are < age 10 or > age 70. i guarantee few of them are on social sites

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@tab126: you’d think by now we’d have the technology to have an accurate gas gauge in a motorcycle tank… reserve tanks are so outdated

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you can’t comprehend pure speed until the only thing separating you and a hundred miles per hour is a half inch roll of the wrist

via twitux

When Man plays God, who will God play? http://www.explosm.net/c…

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in reality, narwhals only have a single magical tusk http://www.flickr.com/ph…

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just when you think things are settling down, you discover your two largest fish have mated; welcome another hundred! http://idek.net/E7d

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completed the quiz “How much do you hate Facebook Quizzes?” with the result: More than Israel hates Palestine. GTFO my home feed.

via twitux

I’ll soon be the 10th most senior employee in terms of time served; can I be admitted to the inner sanctum, papa @colopy ?

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i love riding in dense fog; it makes me feel like i’m in a video game with fog of war (turok, anyone?)

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the final episode of star trek: enterprise is PURE %&#*$&n GENIUS

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Dr. Phlox on love: “This is one ailment that is universally untreatable… you’ll have to suffer through it.”

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♫ It’s been a long road, getting from there to here.
♪ I will see my dream come alive at last… I will touch the sky.

via web

utter defeat to @covati and his slip ‘n slide backfield kicks. $25 bar tab is better than nothing.

via twitux

advancing to the @bronto foosball champtionship game at 4:30 - $50 bar tab is on the line. watch out @covati & @slyons72

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go TN! I believe people who have been certified to carry a firearm should be able to take it anywhere if they’re sober http://idek.net/Djw

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rally racing is hardcore http://idek.net/Djp

via web

‘cause every Mother’s Day needs a mother’s night…

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Lieutenant Dangle demonstrates how easy it is to perform a wheelie on a motorcycle in this week’s Reno 911!

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who knew star trek: enterprise has some great guest appearances, including Seth MacFarlane and Daniel Dae Kim

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i’ve never had to troubleshoot a dishwasher before… IT support experience to the rescue!

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progressing to @bronto foosball semi-finals tomorrow with skip - watch out @grillmaestro

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B is for… meh

via twitux

A is for Apathy

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@sweetlydrifting you get to meet a lot of assholes when you’re on a motorcycle, and the stakes are much higher

via web in reply to sweetlydrifting

FB ramped up their addictiveness w/addition of IM, feeds, and apps. total # min spent on FB is up 700% http://idek.net/DQ9

via web

“the reality is that we’re too insecure to sell and too incompetant or lazy to create something of value” http://idek.net/DOR

via twitux

geez @dailytarheel - can you make those media sharing icons any bigger? this icon should be easier for visitors to find http://idek.net/DMC

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how long until the proliferation of SaaS pushes us to online OSes / thin clients? should M$ be afraid? eyeOS is already making it reality…

via twitux

if you respond to one of my craigslist ads IN ALL CAPS, you have lost the chance to buy my crap. i don’t need the $ that badly.

via web

epiphany regarding recent @facebook slowdown - school is out and all the kids are jumping on FB to take quizzes rather than getting a life

via web

Are you as sick of URL shortening services as I? FIGHT BACK with http://hugeurl.com

via web

If the temptation [to masturbate]seems overpowering… GET OUT OF BED AND GO INTO THE KITCHEN AND FIX YOURSELF A SNACK http://idek.net/D71

via web

murphey’s law #56532 - give the user a max length of 65,535 characters for a field and some of them will find a way to use it all - FML

via web

sweet; the producer of Terminator tv show agrees with me about the original John Connor not being fathered by Kyle Reese. See prev link.

via web

best analysis of terminator timelines (includes tv show) - recall in the show Derek Reese meets his GF from a diff line http://idek.net/D1G

via web

aqua teen hunger force season finale was hilarious - live action with T-Pain as Frylock! http://idek.net/C_q

via web