The below is an off-site archive of all tweets posted by @lopp ever

January 2012

Jeremy_DeGroot @lopp Build a man a fire, he’ll be warm for a night. Set a man on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 6:11 PM, Jan 31st, 2012 via web)

Give a man a fish and he’ll eat for a day. Give a fish a man and he’ll eat for a year.

via web

@emilepetrone I prefer “No Love” myself.

via web in reply to emilepetrone

@Jeremy_DeGroot @killerspaz You don’t tell a joke by starting with the punchline.

via web in reply to killerspaz

God_Damn_Batman The secret to curing a “case of the Mondays” is choking out the person who said you have a “case of the Mondays.”

via Batcomputer (retweeted on 10:48 AM, Jan 31st, 2012 via web)

Just broke 1,000 mashups in my personal library. I think this qualifies as an addiction.

via web

The best things in life are either illegal, immoral, or fattening. Anything not fitting into these categories causes cancer in rats.

via web

I put the “ass” in “classy.” Submitting my application today to become a Club Room Member at @whiskeydurham

via web

DEVOPS_BORAT Infinite scalability is always give you 50% less than what you are expect.

via web (retweeted on 1:40 PM, Jan 30th, 2012 via twicca)

Day 1 of my experimentation with nootropics. Starting with a cocktail of Caffeine, L-Theanine, and Creatine Ethyl Ester. For science!

via web

If your dog would lose a fight to a cat, you’re doing it wrong.

via twicca

Why do bad things happen to good people? Generally, because they’re dumbasses.

via web

It would appear that I do my best work before 8 AM.

via web

The Steve Jobs of the world don’t write how-to guides. They write biographies. Read them.

via web

Instead of “scaring women off,” I prefer to think of my methods as “early stage filtering” that save me the time & money of a pointless date

via web

Life is too short for inferior bacon.

via twicca

DEVOPS_BORAT Optimist is devops who is ignore first 2 Nagios alert.

via Mobile Web (retweeted on 5:44 AM, Jan 28th, 2012 via twicca)

@pmccall777 it’s on the Internet, yo

via web in reply to pmccall777

@ddahlke @jefft If an AWS console crashes in the cloud and no one is logged into it, did it really crash?

via web in reply to ddahlke

Everyone should know the facts of life. Once a month, Chuck Norris visits all the women of the world. They spend the next week recovering.

via web

Fantasy <insert sport> is simply Dungeons & Dragons for jocks.

via web

If you’re smarter than everyone around you, you’re doing it wrong.

via web

Is crowdsourcing no longer the hot shit? I’m contemplating crowdsourcing my bucket list.

via web

DangGoodDogs Our hot dogs are DTF!!! Down To Fry that is! come on down and try our new deep fried dang dog! 2926 Guess Road! 11-2ish.

via web (retweeted on 10:19 AM, Jan 27th, 2012 via web)

ncpolicelogs Calm down, UNC & NCSU fans… the Chapel Hill sign defacement was a hoax. http://t.co/25kJ01Sa

via web (retweeted on 9:18 AM, Jan 27th, 2012 via web)

“Online Privacy” is an oxymoron. Fundamental infrastructure of the Internet was engineered to make it impossible to stem the flow of data.

via web

@covati sounds like I need to check out this @instagram thing

via web in reply to covati

Cheat the system. Don’t cheat the people IN the system.

via web

If you can’t complete a single pull-up, you won’t survive long at all if shit hits the fan.

via web

@pmccall777 that must be why she tried to get all elections postponed for 2 years

via web in reply to pmccall777

$NFLX stock is up 24% today :-) Take that, $AAPL

via web

Coach Sylvia Hatchell has imposed an outright ban on UNC women’s basketball team’s use of Twitter. http://t.co/8c1Ukeu0

via web

I rarely talk about advertising / marketing because most marketing campaigns are laughable, but Papa John’s nailed it: http://t.co/27PTbI78

via web

@ericboggs unless… you’re using the analysis to predict the stock market :-P

via web in reply to ericboggs

claytoncubitt Son, if a girl describes herself as “quirky” online that means she’s stone-cold crazy in person.

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 10:00 AM, Jan 25th, 2012 via web)

ncpolicelogs Convicted murderer to citizens of NC: “Kill me if you can, suckers!” http://t.co/Uo07daLJ

via web (retweeted on 8:50 AM, Jan 25th, 2012 via web)

The applause for Obama’s plea to raise taxes on the richest 2% had to be the weakest during the entire State of the Union. I wonder why? ಠ_ಠ

via web

The number of women who make their online dating username end in “saurus” is ABNORMALLY high.

via web

gigq Pirate Bay adds a “Physibiles” 3D printing section, someone posts an AR-15 semi-automatic rifle for download https://t.co/YlqHBWTh

via Echofon (retweeted on 6:47 PM, Jan 24th, 2012 via web)

@sweetlydrifting ahhhhhhhh new stylesheets eh? You should have set the TTLs lower on the files.

via web

@sweetlydrifting LOLOL what did you doooooooooo.

via web in reply to sweetlydrifting

@michaelbrooks One. Two means you’re a crotchety old former typewriter user.

via web in reply to michaelbrooks

That awkward moment when you have to figure out how to convert a BigDecimal to a Long… without losing precision.

via web

brikis98 The average tech salary in Silicon Valley cracks $100k. The talent war is on. http://t.co/zuko4vYh

via Safari on iOS (retweeted on 9:42 AM, Jan 24th, 2012 via web)

The only thing worse than getting paged at 4 AM when you’re on call is getting paged at 4 AM… by a spammer. FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUU

via web

The fundamental problem with PEBKACs is that you can’t fix stupid.

via web

Clarknt67 NOT A JOKE: #Santorum launches C.U.M.: Conservatives Unite Moneybomb. #LGBT #Frothy cc: @aravosis @MSignorile http://t.co/kuLdWEGQ

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 6:52 PM, Jan 23rd, 2012 via web)

@pmccall777 just like people will remember Michael Jackson for his music?

via web in reply to pmccall777

Paterno’s legacy is his scandal because there is no number of wins in any sport can offset covering up child molestation.

via web

@ameir @flyosity I bet you’re a real hardass boss

via web in reply to ameir

RonPaul My son @SenRandPaul being detained by TSA for refusing full body pat-down after anomaly in body scanner in Nashville. More details coming.

via web (retweeted on 10:49 AM, Jan 23rd, 2012 via web)

You’ll never truly appreciate good coffee until you drink it black.

via web

The concept of “gamification” is an oxymoron - all of life’s a game.

via web

Existential Nihilism is a logical by-product of gaining a better understanding of astrophysics. /cc @neiltyson

via web

@flyosity one is an overly friendly personal servant whilst the other wants to secretly kill you?

via web in reply to flyosity

There is no more appropriate way to protest issues of online freedom than DDoS.

via web

Senator @kayhagan’s statement on the PROTECT IP Act is as comforting to me as Obama’s signing statement on the NDAA. http://t.co/RWZ3Arrb

via Tweet Button

@seanmcnichol It has a ton of features, just a bit of a learning curve. Photoshop is the most full-featured, but $500 vs $0? Easy decision.

via web in reply to seanmcnichol

@seanmcnichol yeah I can use that shit; hope you’re not expecting me to train you over twitter though… it’s not incredibly user-friendly.

via web in reply to seanmcnichol

@seanmcnichol of course! BRING OUT THE GIMP!

via web in reply to seanmcnichol

@jefft @covati yeah… and it gets pretty graphic.

via web in reply to jefft

@mattgemmell @gigq I guess you could say justice is… “being served.”

via web in reply to mattgemmell

neiltyson In 5-billion yrs the Sun will expand & engulf our orbit as the charred ember that was once Earth vaporizes. Have a nice day.

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 3:44 PM, Jan 19th, 2012 via web)

No, my new bald spot was not a barber shop accident - it’s simply where the doctor dug the cancer out of my head today.

via web

@jefft @pmccall777 Good luck; they sold out of Hopslam in 2 hours.

via twicca in reply to jefft

“Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.” http://t.co/dOSEhjhO

via web

You’ll make better decisions when you stop fearing pain; all pain is temporary.

via web

That awkward moment in the middle of the night when you realize that you just farted yourself awake.

via web

Online dating is simply a subset of online marketing. There are plenty of fools who spray and pray, but theirs is a wasted effort.

via web

RealityMonster (╯°□°)╯︵ ∀ԀOS

via web (retweeted on 6:21 PM, Jan 18th, 2012 via web)

That awkward moment when you’re standing at a urinal and a complete stranger tries to start a conversation with you.

via web

ddahlke yay, I got an offer on my house. Lol that they’ve written it such that they get my microwave. I don’t have one.

via Twitter for Mac (retweeted on 2:39 PM, Jan 18th, 2012 via web)

Best. Google. Doodle. Ever. http://t.co/s81TQOoo

via twicca

No love lost, no love found.

via web

That awkward moment at a software meetup when the person you’re talking to blurts “how much do I have to pay you to come work for me?”

via twicca

The list of major sites going dark tomorrow to protest SOPA and PIPA just keeps growing; hope this pushes awareness over the tipping point.

via web

ReidGower One of the most undervalued strengths of the internet is the ability to organize for protest. Social media shall soon redefine democracy.

via web (retweeted on 8:14 PM, Jan 16th, 2012 via web)

jimmy_wales I am just starting to do press interviews about the upcoming blackout of Wikipedia to protest #sopa and #pipa (“Protect IP”).

via web (retweeted on 4:10 PM, Jan 16th, 2012 via web)

“Piracy is brilliant. Music should be shared. If music is free, then there is no business, there is just music.” - Joss Stone

via web

@DurhamYMCA aha; I highly recommend that you list that as an option on the form letter that gets mailed out for declined payments…

via web in reply to DurhamYMCA

WTF @durhamymca - my autodraft declined b/c my CC info changed and instead of telling me how to update my info, I have to send you CASH?

via web

If Tim Tebow truly is accepting aid from a supernatural being, he is cheating on a greater scale than any steroid user & should be punished.

via web

Today at the gun & knife show I learned that the NC Citizens Militia [REDACTED]

via twicca

The problem with women is me.

via twicca

I was going to post photos of the awesome stuff at the gun & knife show, but photography was prohibited…

via twicca

@ddahlke thanks for leaving multiple dirty cups and forks on your desk when you left for a week vacation. That is, the fruit flies thank you

via web

Someone told me I have a problem with authority. Who do they think they are, the authority on all things Jameson?

via web

@sweetlydrifting Fruit fly drowned in my coffee this morning. Second time this week.

via web in reply to sweetlydrifting

pmccall777 @lopp well, they had to build it tall and wide enough to hide the prison from the highway…

via Twitter for Mac (retweeted on 8:31 AM, Jan 13th, 2012 via web)

The size of the new “Justice Center” in Durham, NC is a monument to the problems inherent in our bloated legal system.

via web

“Tolerance of intolerance is cowardice.” - Ayaan Hirsi Ali

via web

ncpolicelogs Santa arrested on child sex charges in Apex: http://t.co/YfNTUiJW

via Tweet Button (retweeted on 8:28 AM, Jan 12th, 2012 via web)

Sometimes I wonder if people who “like” their own status updates on Facebook are the type who masturbate while looking in a mirror.

via web

@ameir @pmccall777 stop being so poor and it’ll make more sense

via web in reply to ameir

@sweetlydrifting Ha; when you’re in an agile environment you get to do it n times

via web in reply to sweetlydrifting

As a kid, my parents said “you won’t get far in life by playing on the computer all day.” Been laughing all the way to the bank ever since.

via web

emilepetrone If Google went dark to protest SOPA, that would end this debate in about 10 minutes #SOPA

via Twitter for Mac (retweeted on 1:36 PM, Jan 11th, 2012 via web)

ncpolicelogs An Alamance County Police Officer found his stolen motorcycle while conducting a routine traffic stop. http://t.co/qpTNo4rU

via web (retweeted on 9:11 AM, Jan 11th, 2012 via web)

I’m normally really good at brushing off name-calling, but if you call me a racist, you had better offer some fucking proof.

via web

The problem with the current state of matchmaking science is that it assumes people know what they need in a mate. /cc @okcupid

via web

neiltyson I love the smell of the universe in the morning.

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 10:13 AM, Jan 10th, 2012 via web)

almightygod I apologize to the African children who starved while I was bailing Tebow out yesterday. Er, uh, welcome to Heaven!

via web (retweeted on 6:08 AM, Jan 10th, 2012 via twicca)

Holy crap, The Simpsons turned their social & political commentary up to 11 with their last episode, “Politically Inept, with Homer Simpson”

via web

@pmccall777 Prosecutor offered to lower Willie Nelson’s fine for a serenade? What a fucking farce of a justice system.

via web in reply to pmccall777

flyosity It’s so cute when mobile carriers think of themselves as more than just a dumb pipe.

via Twitter for Mac (retweeted on 4:05 PM, Jan 9th, 2012 via web)

“We cannot expect people to have respect for law and order until we teach respect to those entrusted to enforce the laws.” Hunter S Thompson

via web

@sweetlydrifting oooo if I honked at someone and they got out and approached me, I’d have one hand on my gun…

via web in reply to sweetlydrifting

reason Steve Chapman on @RickSantorum’s Moral Delusions http://t.co/eXQMJA2I

via HootSuite (retweeted on 9:43 AM, Jan 9th, 2012 via web)

You know what’s in poor taste? Placing empty bottles of malt liquor at the memorial site where your friend died by crashing into a pole.

via web

Trolling is so 2011.

via web

@hoorayimhelping @ddahlke … then he took an arrow to the knee.

via web in reply to hoorayimhelping

ddahlke @knucklesandwich I had 812 txt messages last month and only 4 were from girls. #devops

via Twitter for Mac (retweeted on 12:25 AM, Jan 8th, 2012 via web)

SethMacFarlane Rick Santorum’s stance on homosexuality is so fucking gay.

via Echofon (retweeted on 8:42 PM, Jan 7th, 2012 via web)

@emilepetrone I could see a very interesting debate surrounding that assertion. I could argue it either way.

via web in reply to emilepetrone

neiltyson The full Moon of tomorrow, and the gibbous Moon of this night, will grace our skies, dusk to dawn, in soft, majestic light.

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 5:08 PM, Jan 7th, 2012 via web)

Everybody’s sellin’ dreams; I’m too cheap to buy one.

via web

@rands assuming he was sampling the firehose and not trying to filter out spam, I’d guess ~30 chars is avg for link spam (username + URL)

via web

danharmon Drank 5 hour energy. Then 2 sudafed. Forgetting I’d taken them, had a vodka rocks. Just saw Ben Franklin in the kitchen. He says aisisjd

via Twitterrific (retweeted on 8:48 PM, Jan 6th, 2012 via web)

@carpedurham holy mother of god, MY EARS

via web in reply to carpedurham

@flyosity I forsee Santorum’s response: “It’s not rape if the woman’s vagina is open.”

via web in reply to flyosity

@flyosity OH SHIT THAT GUY WANTS TO TAKE AWAY MY PORN.

via web in reply to flyosity

Scumbag @twcable sends a letter saying update my billing info, representatives are available 24/7! Call phone # and they’re only open 8-5.

via web

If I could hang animated gifs on my wall, I’d finally be able to achieve the perfect bachelor pad.

via web

wired Is an encrypted laptop protected under the 5th Amendment? The Feds say “No.” Terrific. http://t.co/AYBotlyy

via YoruFukurou (retweeted on 8:35 PM, Jan 5th, 2012 via web)

@ameir meh, I can’t believe Gmail hasn’t built a disk space mgmt utility. I’m 77% full and can’t easily delete emails with large attachments

via web in reply to ameir

@Jeremy_DeGroot used forms to auto-send complaints to all involved months ago

via web in reply to Jeremy_DeGroot

nkohari Just found out that NC senator Kay Hagan (@SenatorHagan) is sponsoring #SOPA. In related news, I found a new politician not to vote for.

via Twitter for Mac (retweeted on 3:07 PM, Jan 5th, 2012 via web)

@mark_a_phelps Yeah, any idiot knows that you swish TO THE PAIN.

via web in reply to mark_a_phelps

wral House overrides NCAE bill veto in unprecedented midnight session http://t.co/0JryMGAu

via twitterfeed (retweeted on 10:12 AM, Jan 5th, 2012 via web)

How do YOU feel when you see a panhandler talking on their mobile phone?

via web

@ericboggs @covati When I hear “same process over and over” I hear “opportunity for automation” :-)

via web in reply to ericboggs

@ericboggs @covati Is perhaps a disconnect that sales are more likely to get fired for missing quotas than coders are for missing deadlines?

via web in reply to ericboggs

@ericboggs @covati In a commission-less dev environment, programmers have project deadlines with intense pressure to meet them :-P

via web in reply to ericboggs

@ericboggs @covati Why not pay everyone a salary but then initiate sharing of excess profits to incentivize EVERYONE to work harder?

via web in reply to ericboggs

@jefft the red squiggly lines were driving me nuts

via web in reply to jefft

Nothing screams “megalomania” quite like claiming that the creator of the universe cares about your political career.

via web

TuckerMax Why do people think Im a Duke fan? I hated Duke, it sucked. The only good thing about Duke is that its 15 minutes from Chapel Hill.

via web (retweeted on 8:59 PM, Jan 4th, 2012 via web)

covati Why do we pay sales commissions? http://t.co/2qynGrmJ interesting thoughts from the guys at Fog Creek

via Argyle Social (retweeted on 6:20 PM, Jan 4th, 2012 via web)

Today I learned that you are banned for life from obtaining a NC concealed carry permit if you’re ever convicted of http://t.co/73oRAxSD

via web

shitmydadsays “These candidates are dog shit. All we’re doing is picking out the dick that’s going to fuck us.”

via web (retweeted on 2:06 PM, Jan 4th, 2012 via web)

DEVOPS_BORAT Highest quality of software is one which is never ship.

via web (retweeted on 11:37 AM, Jan 4th, 2012 via web)

@sweetlydrifting bronto is hiring and our codebase is so fresh & so clean :-P

via web in reply to sweetlydrifting

@dcm nevertheless, I’m really rooting for Ron Paul to give the GOP its comeuppance

via web in reply to dcm

@lesliejenna I came expecting to see something about political activism and was not disappointed.

via web in reply to lesliejenna

Today I added the “Hammer Punch” to my hand-to-hand combat arsenal. Can’t wait to toughen up these bloodied, delicate programmer hands.

via web

julien My New Year’s resolution is to punch every social media expert I see

via Twitter for Mac (retweeted on 4:44 PM, Jan 2nd, 2012 via web)

The only presidential candidate who seems to give a damn about our civil liberties is Ron Paul. Can’t wait to hear from Americans Elect.

via web