The below is an off-site archive of all tweets posted by @lopp ever

March 2011

you shouldn’t cry over spilt milk, but it’s socially acceptable to choke a bitch over spilt beer http://www.thatsfloriduh…

via web

@pmccall777 @ddahlke EDWARD FOURLOKOHANDS!!!!1one

via web in reply to pmccall777

people who brush their teeth in public restrooms creep me out… standing there, eyeballing me, judging. SEE A DOCTOR ABOUT YOUR OCD.

via web

anyone want to get together this weekend for a game of edward fourlokohands?

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@jefft ARE YOU IN THE INTERNET?!?!?

via web in reply to jefft

my internets are faster than your internets http://speedtest.net/res…

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@hoorayimhelping YOU try getting 4 beta softwares to all play nice with each other

via web in reply to hoorayimhelping

I did not fail 700 times. I succeeded in proving those 700 ways don’t work. After eliminating the ways that didn’t work, I found the answer.

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when life gives you lemons, paint that shit gold.

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why do backup batteries for smoke detectors / carbon monoxide detectors / security systems ALWAYS fail in the middle of the night?

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my cashier at home depot has the same voice (and some of the look) as Ted Williams

via Twitter for Android

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Give a man gay midget donkey porn and he’ll hate you for a lifetime.

via web

Honda says it’s working on seat belts for motorcyclists, but in reality it’s more like an ejection seat :-) http://goo.gl/q66W8

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@knucklesandwich did you not douche it out of your sinuses this morning?

via web in reply to knucklesandwich

That’ll buff out (Top Gear) - http://t.co/AialJJL

via Tweet Button

every racing cockpit video ever: http://www.youtube.com/w…

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Leon Black explains what to do when a man disrespects you: http://www.youtube.com/w…

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@pmccall777 we’re on the Intenet and I’m ALWAYS RIGHT ON THE INTERNET

via web in reply to pmccall777

@pmccall777 you’re just lucky that Eclipse tells you when you misspell your single letter variable names

via web in reply to pmccall777

…still waiting for the day when computers can keep up with my typed commands…

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It hurts to work with bleeding edge software that excels at complex data manipulation yet makes it a struggle to find the mode in a set.

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A layman looks at my fence and sees 600 evenly spaced, redwood-stained pickets. The Warden sees only 600 potential points of failure.

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OH @bronto: “we need to hire someone new so that we can lemon party them”

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@ameir @hoorayimhelping did somebody say FANBOY-OFF?!?!

via web in reply to ameir

iPhone users at work are nerd equivalents to those Tea Party idiots. They don’t let facts get in the way of their holier-than-thou attitudes

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@MichaelCasp NOT WITH THAT ATTITUDE, YOU WON’T

via web in reply to MichaelCasp

Amazon’s Android app store launches today - install it and get the NEW Angry Birds game for free! http://goo.gl/IrmZF

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sometimes, if you want a bug fixed, you just have to download the source code, find the bug, fix the bug, and submit the patch yourself

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the question of how to carry a handgun on a long motorcycle trip has been answered: http://goo.gl/VUuqe

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@pmccall777 surely they provided it with some horsey ear plugs

via web in reply to pmccall777

A good horse will let you use his head as a rest. A great horse will adjust windage and elevations for you. http://i.imgur.com/LB0e1…

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today’s ride was a success. you can view the GPS logged route here http://goo.gl/WKsrB

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@jefft riding the bus is like watching reality TV

via Twitter for Android in reply to jefft

The difference between riding in a car and climbing onto a motorcycle is the difference between watching TV and actually living your life.

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multiple orders of magnitude speedup achievement unlocked. time to celebrate with free beer.

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@MichaelCasp wish I could say it was real…

via web in reply to MichaelCasp

day 2 of debugging a half hour long job that doesn’t die until it’s 99% complete

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@MichaelCasp I found a wench, but she turned on me.

via web in reply to MichaelCasp

@jefft did you learn that from the kindergartners?

via web in reply to jefft

Why climb the corporate ladder when you can just take the elevator?

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@lucas_weber @gigq @flyosity well duh, the meltdown was caused by an earthquake / tsunami, which are both Acts of God.

via web in reply to lucas_weber

@gigq just think of it as the opportunity of a lifetime. If you survive, it’ll be a great story to tell when you’re an old geezer.

via web in reply to gigq

A SQL interface to my NoSQL data!?!? It’s the best and worst of both worlds! http://goo.gl/bQsaD

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It’s March and I ain’t even mad.

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it’s not a good sign when the documentation site for the beta technology you’re running is down

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a handicapped placard is not a license to drive retarded

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this Duke grad student lives out of a van so that he can graduate debt-free http://spartanstudent.bl…

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@akuaa hm well i’ve gotten virus laced emails from n00bs and sometimes a year later a photo of the ‘upgraded’ vehicle i sold them

via web in reply to akuaa

I certainly never expected to learn so much about Garrison Keillor’s sex life

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I love how Garrison Keillor is wearing a suit and tie and red suede sneakers

via Twitter for Android

@hoorayimhelping i heard if you bitch enough you can get one for free

via web in reply to hoorayimhelping

dreary day means more research for the motorcycle trip. any suggestions for points of interest to add to my list? http://justpaste.it/95i

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2 new stores opened down the road. now we just need a gun shop! http://t.co/A2DtpIo

via Twitter for Android

@carpedurham business is booming but I guess their landlord wants a different style restaurant in that space

via Twitter for Android in reply to carpedurham

it’s my displeasure to announce that Chai’s Noodle Bar & Bistro is closing soon. They hope to open elsewhere and are looking for locations.

via web

@carpedurham have you been informed that Chai’s Noodle Bar & Bistro is closing soon? They hope to open elsewhere but have no plans yet.

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@mark_a_phelps if you bothered to go to class, you wouldn’t forget

via web in reply to mark_a_phelps

My hands were freezing on the ride in this morning. Then I remembered that I now have electrically heated grips! Toasty.

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@flyosity @dizm “640k is more than anyone will ever need” applies to any hardware specs dawg

via web in reply to flyosity

@flyosity LOLOLOL have you ever met a programmer?

via web in reply to flyosity

Just realized my house is desperately missing a liquor cabinet and a gun cabinet. Perhaps I could save money and combine these two ideas…

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@flyosity try typing in the right password

via web in reply to flyosity

the 20 year war between the Subaru STI and the Mitsubishi Evo is over. STI wins by default as Mitsubishi commits seppuku http://goo.gl/d17Pr

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@lesliejenna I try to be as much of a dick IRL as on Internet

via Twitter for Android in reply to lesliejenna

windscreen company cancelled my $500 order b/c they don’t want to make any more ~$1 brackets for my model motorcycle. capitalism FAIL.

via web

Lisa0xf apple fans frothing at the mouth

via Twitter for Mac (retweeted on 1:29 PM, Mar 2nd, 2011 via web)

@hoorayimhelping gotta conserve water, bro. yellow is the new green.

via web in reply to hoorayimhelping

@ameir I don’t get it. is the punch line وقل ربي ارحمهما كما ربياني صغيرا

via web in reply to ameir

OK, NC - when are we going to ban spray paint? http://bit.ly/gTaMdi

via web

rundlesreposts @spgilmore try this: take a piece of paper, fold in half. now fold it again, like 5 times. now get another piece of paper. BOOM. different

via Twitter for Mac (retweeted on 4:49 PM, Mar 1st, 2011 via web)

BullCityBurger Need to dispel the rumor that BCBB is like a restaurant with a lobster tank. No you can’t pick your own cow.

via Facebook (retweeted on 4:14 PM, Mar 1st, 2011 via web)

We’ve enjoyed so much freedom for so long that we have forgotten how much blood it cost to establish the Bill of Rights. http://goo.gl/tJ5BU

via web