The below is an off-site archive of all tweets posted by @lopp ever

May 2009

@lesliejenna i feel ya. ‘THE POLLEN FORECAST FOR YOUR AREA IS HIGH’ - i have a secret home remedy - shots of whiskey; clears you right up

via web in reply to lesliejenna

new four loko flavor released - watermelon! i voted for green apple; maybe next time… www.drinkfour.com

via web

folks have asked WTF i mean about the terminator timeline: this is how i see it, with branches and potential time loops http://idek.net/CvZ

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@facebook idk what scaling probs you have but it took 70 seconds to compose & send HTML for home.php when i req a 2nd time w/primed cache

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p.s. Scott Bakula ( @scottsbakula http://idek.net/CuO ) is the shit - mad props for Chuck, Enterprise, & Quantum Leap

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Star Trek: Enterprise season 3 ramps up the sexual tension to 11. There’s a lot of side boob for a UPN show.

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single flaw in the terminator plot is the paradox of kyle reese being john connor’s father. john in original timeline must’ve had a diff dad

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two words of pure awesome: motorcycle terminators

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@seanmcnichol nah, his first name is actually david

via web in reply to seanmcnichol

going on a man-date with prince albert. looking forward to a quaint evening with just me, him, and the cyborg death machines.

via twitux

star trek enterprise is great; Captain starts a bar fight and first thing the Lt does is grab the beers off the table to save them from harm

via twitux

it’s a good thing i’m manly enough to appreciate an extremely rank fart, because Remi is quite proficient in that regard

via twitux

corn plot @ 3 weeks, with dog for scale: http://idek.net/ClC

via twitux

Dear Paycheck,

Please buy me a pair of kevlar pants.

Your faithful servant,

Jameson.

via twitux

the wild turkey gobbles were a refreshing change to the rooster crowing this morning

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for the love of god, avoid Pecos Bill’s Beef Jerky! you might as well buy a nylon dog leash and chew on it! i wouldn’t feed this to a dog!

via twitux

updating our account deletion script is fun ‘high risk optimization’ - data set reduction with risk of losing a client’s info. no pressure.

via twitux

2nd @facebook suggestion of the day; track ‘previous’ friends & don’t display as ‘suggested friends’ (i see who unfriended me & vice versa)

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srsly, @facebook ? only way to hide all quizzes is via greasemonkey script? I shouldn’t have to fix this client-side http://idek.net/CZ4

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programming credit card processing systems sucks; why can i place a hold or capture funds instantly yet it takes days to release a hold?

via twitux

@seanmcnichol i assumed natural bones are more dangerous because they have warning labels about splintering; reading about rawhide now

via web in reply to seanmcnichol

2 foot rawhide lasted nearly a month… good investment. I got some looks as I struggled to stuff the replacement into my backpack.

via web

@tab126: I was behind a WRX STI a few days ago; I had trouble keeping up with him on my CBR, blazing around turns on country roads

via twitux

HOA approves my fence plan ‘with conditions’ 5 months after submission. They had 30 days or I was approved by default. Good thing I waited?

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I wish: I understood MySQL’s calculation of cardinality for multi-column indexes, and why it’s inordinately low for some of ours

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very few things can beat the satisfaction i gain from optimizing a database query to run in 1/600th the amount of time

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bronto dev: making gestures of appreciation since 2009

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ready for a release since my peers let me down over our work weekend; first morning of racquetball in a week

via twitux

At Wong Burger, when it’s right, it’s Wong!

via twitux

@seanmcnichol i’ll make you a better offer. I’ll name you sole beneficiary on my life ins policy for $500. It’s a pretty big payout. Deal?

via web in reply to seanmcnichol

@seanmcnichol: it’s some supersweet hybrid; the sweetest corn they had at home depot

via twitux

i officially own a plot of corn… hopefully i will get to eat it

via web

a noble spirit embiggens the smallest man

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@tab126: backroads ARE scary. twisting around on one lane with little room for error vs going in a straight line on a 4 lane wide highway…

via twitux

Bronto Spring 2009 Release is live and blazing fast

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Finally, tonight, we will have enough dicks to complete the Dickship and return to Dick Planet!

via twitux

@tab126: let me know if you want to go riding some time. there’s a biker bar in durham called charlie’s if you want to go some time…

via twitux

2 hours still bronto spring release begins

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squeezing every drop of performance out of bronto app. going live with avg page speedup of 70%; many sub sec page loads w/primed cache

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TWC “requested permission to communicate with me by email.” Yet there was no opt-in; I had to opt out or I ‘gave them permission’ - FAIL

via web

http://idek.net/Aux - Wake up car drivers! Half of the related stories are of riders dying when a car turned out in front of them.

via twitux

twitter is having downtime at noon on a wednesday… ballsy. i guess few twitter users have the right to complain; still it’s unprecedented.

via web

today in summary: dry run chafing, happenThingsā„¢, Act!ionPages (Ā©), webalytics, bases of data pointing every which way

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this morning a guy i play racquetball with broke his racquet. big whoop, you might say. the twist: he broke it while hitting his own leg. ow

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3 houses along my 7 mile commute have trees through the roof. tree fell in my back yard, but into the lake.

via web

just planted 120 kernels of sweet corn in my back yard on a whim… will be awesome if they actually grow

via web

@seanmcnichol i’d say 2800 square feet of yard beats 20 square feet of crate

via web in reply to seanmcnichol

ultra heavy duty 2’ long steel stake? check.
heavy duty 30’ long aircraft grade cable? check.
heavy duty dog collar that won’t snap? whoops.

via web

@derickatunc if i had to guess, they are probably using cheetahmail as their email service provider; thus the starbucks.ctah.com

via web in reply to derickatunc

narwhals, narwhals | swimming through the ocean | causing a commotion | ‘cause they are so awesome

http://idek.net/AHB

via twitux

this concludes the test of the anger broadcast system. if this were not a test, i would continue. i’m actually quite happy thankyouverymuch.

via twitux

MOST ANNOYED by: retweets, hash tags, direct messages, twibes, twoosh, twitterspeak in general, and of course the @*!#ing fail whale

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MOST OFFENDED by: religion in govt/politics, overcomplexity & sluggishness of legal system, US internet infrastructure, DEA, mysql, and duke

via twitux

@lesliejenna: A twoosh is the sound that Twitter makes every time someone sends a tweet that’s exactly 140 characters long. it’s stupid.

via twitux

INFURIATED by keith code. @knucklesandwich says you can’t polish a turd, but we have all honed our turd polishing skills down here (twoosh!)

via twitux

FED UP w/facebook making de-friending so hard. can’t do it via search; have to tab through ‘all friends’ page by page. F U FB. twooooooooosh

via twitux

PISSED @ rhythmbox - ‘shuffle’ feature my ass; tons of albums on my list haven’t been played in the year I have used it. last.fm radio FTW

via twitux

@seanmcnichol: booby trap that part of your lawn with mower-destroying objects embedded in the ground

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STILL ANGRY: at useless parents. caught teenagers snooping around neighbor’s house; parents were ambivalent. could have ended badly. twoosh.

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In the beginning the universe was created. This made a lot of people ANGRY and has widely been considered as a bad move.

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ANGRY: at meteorologists. 30% chance of rain and not a cloud in 100 miles? grow some balls and commit to a prediction. time to ride. twoosh!

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ANGRY: been stuck in this dead end job for 2 years as of today. ha j/k it is YOU who should be angry b/c my job kicks your job’s ass. twoosh

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ANGRY: good thing firefox has the ‘resume last session’ feature because it’s locking up every 5 min since i upgraded to jaunty jackalope!

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listening to angry music a la deftones, rammstein, rage against the machine

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hi kids! the mood of the day is: angry! it all started when that @#&$ school bus driver almost turned me into a red streak on the asphalt…

via twitux

RIP Duke Nukem Forever http://www.shacknews.com…

via web

i curse any religious org that uses autodialers to proselytize - please come to my house so that i may berate you face to face

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awesome; now i can get my lulz in a more organized manner: http://bit.ly/wwc2N

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another win for law-abiding, gun-carrying citizens http://idek.net/9zz

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i can hardly contain myself: ‘the terminators’ http://www.imdb.com/titl…

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she should have at least gotten a manslaughter charge http://idek.net/9yC

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recently @kristengreg noted spider season is afoot - this morning i had a guest in my bathroom that was similar to this http://idek.net/9jw

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LMAO @ crank 2 - leaky shot up fake breasts, porn actors strike, dog shock collar, full body tourrette’s on a motorcycle, racetrack sex…

via web

# twitter followers / facebook friends / blog hits doesn’t make you a celeb b/c it isn’t mass media and nobody knows you http://idek.net/9YB

via twitux

motorcycle news of the day: marines love to hop on a bike with no training and get themselves killed http://idek.net/9Vt

via twitux

matrix on TNT today with great scenes cut: neo on operating table, spoon scene, guard saying ‘oh shit’ after seeing trenchcoat full of guns

via web